By Janell Sutherland
11:12 AM EST, November 14, 2011
Who’s ready to leave the white sandy beaches of Lake Malawi? I wouldn’t mind hanging out there for a few days, but this show insists on traveling around the entire world, so it’s off to Copenhagen, Denmark, for the first time in Race history.
The Malawi-Denmark air travel corridor isn’t that popular, so production has secured flights for the teams. However, they are allowed to try for something better. For reasons that I blinked and missed, Marcus and Amani do not try for something better. They assume that everyone will take the spoon-fed flight so they kick back and sleep the night at the airport.
While Amani and Marcus are sleeping, everyone else arrives in Copenhagen. Oops. I was ready to write them out of the Race right then, but the next Route Marker didn’t open until the morning, so they were only an hour behind.
Pipe down, Mr. Rock ‘n Roll
The Roadblock is at a fancy castle filled with fancy people dressed fancily. A team member must also dress fancily and then learn a three-part Renaissance dance. My TV boyfriend Ernie and his real-life fiancée Cindy giggle while they describe Ernie wearing tights and makeup.
Here’s a fun side note: While waiting for their partners, Cindy hears how Bill met Cathi. They met in middle school when they were 12 and 13, dated for 8 years, and got married when they graduated from college. Very sweet. Cindy: “We just met in a bar.” Bill: “Well, that’s okay, too.” Hah!
Ernie can dance! Snowboarder Andy can dance! Grandma Cathi is weightless as she dances! Sandy and Amani are beautiful!
You know who can’t dance? Zac. Dad Laurence is off to the side mumbling that the task “would have suited me better, I used to be the front man in a rock and roll band, you know.” Wait, what? But then again, so did my dad, so you never know.
Due to the failure of Dad’s dancing genes to manifest themselves, Zac finishes the dance in fourth place. It could have been worse.
Football analogies can save your life
Amani and Marcus started in last, caught up to Jeremy and Sandy, but still struggled. Then came the Detour. Teams could either churn some excellent butter or build a little steeplechase course for rabbits and then run an actual rabbit through it. Bunnies, yay!
Every team chose to avoid animals and churn the butter, except for Amani and Marcus. Feeling the pressure, Marcus talked football like it was his first language. And if you thought he was excited at the Superbowl, man, you should see him cheer on Amani’s rabbit. Once that rush was over, he gave the rabbit such a 4th-quarter-come-from-behind pep talk that the bunny practically flew through the course. Yay, bunnies! And a fourth-place finish for them!
Remember last week, when Ernie and Cindy were in first place and they didn’t use the U-Turn? And then the Snowboarders passed them on the race to the Pit Stop? Yeah, Cindy’s not having that happen again.
Thanks to Ernie’s excellent dancing feet and butter churning skills, they were in first place again, right ahead of Bill and Cathi. Remembering how victory was snatched from her hands, Cindy tells Ernie that she’s U-Turning Bill and Cathi, just to give them enough buffer to win first place. Ernie’s not entirely down with that plan, but doesn’t get much say in the matter. Congratulations, they handily win this leg of the Race.
Bill and Cathi aren’t thrilled to be U-Turned, so to give themselves a some time, they U-Turn Laurence and Zac. Then they go back and do the bunny race. Everyone’s happy after seeing those rabbits jump so high. Plus, Bill and Cathi still end up in second place.
What happens when your brain is turned off
I don’t know how else to explain it. Jeremy and Sandy are with the main pack at the start of the leg, then they get lost trying to find next Route Marker. They actually head back to the start and run into Amani and Marcus, that’s how lost they are.
They bumble around some more, meeting up with Amani and Marcus at the dancing Roadblock. After that, despite Sandy claiming to know where they are, they drive in the wrong direction. This segment includes a lot of passive aggressive sighing on Jeremy’s part, and a lot of clueless “what?”s from Sandy in the backseat.
Jeremy and Sandy arrive at the Detour while Laurence and Zac are finishing up their U-Turn with the rabbit run. Through some sort of magic, they manage to hand off their poor-direction mojo and find the Pit Stop without getting lost. Nice save.
This means that Laurence and Zac go the wrong way to the Pit Stop and get stuck in traffic. Sorry, Laurence and Zac, you have been eliminated from the Race.
I think Zac needs to stop sailing around the world and join a rock band to get some more life experience, what do you think?