Survivor kicked off its 28th season with an action-packed two hour premiere. (Side note: It is just me or does it feel like last season just ended?)

This go-around we are asked what it takes to last the entire 39 days and win the one million dollars. Brains, beauty, or brawn? Eighteen new contestants are divided into three tribes based on these three qualities.

Right off the bat Jeff Probst asks each tribe to choose a leader. The Beauty tribe pick LJ, Brawn pick Sarah, and the Brains pick David. The leaders then must decide who on his or her tribe is the weakest - LJ chooses Morgan, Sarah chooses Trish, and David chooses Garrett. A pretty surprising choice since Garrett is their biggest guy. “Dumb” move number one for the brains tribe.

The 3 chosen ones step off to the side and Jeff puts them on a helicopter to send them to their camps to make a decision on behalf of their tribes.

Once Garrett, Morgan, and Trish reach their camps they are met with the dilemma of “helping yourself” or “helping the tribe”. If they choose help yourself they get a clue to the location of a hidden immunity idol. If they help the tribe they get a second bag of rice.

Garrett (Brains tribe) chooses himself. Cue the shots of snakes slithering around the beach. He follows the clue and finds the idol after a little bit of searching. Cue more shots of slithery creatures. Thanks producers, we get it.

Trish (Brawn tribe) chooses the tribe and hopes she doesn’t regret the decision later in the game. Trish hugs her tribe as they join her on the beach. She tells them about the extra bag of rice and more hugs follow.

Morgan (Beauty tribe) chooses herself. (duh!) While she searches for the idol she spots her tribe walking up the beach. She successfully lies to the group telling them she chose the rice and materials to make shelter. LJ, however, is on to her.

Back at the Brains camp things get off to a rocky start. J’Tia tells everyone she is a nuclear engineer and starts barking orders on how to build the shelter. Her tribe is not having it. She is marked with the scarlet letter “A”… for Annoying.

At the first immunity challenge teams must maneuver a cart through an obstacle course, at each ladder retrieve a key and unlock a chest. They then must dissemble the carts and slide them through a barricade, reassemble them and get to the finish where two people will use the pieces in the carts to solve a puzzle. Wow! I’m exhausted from typing that, I can’t imagine actually doing it. Okay, moving on.

In addition to immunity they are also playing for reward. First place gets a fire-making kit, second place gets flint.

All teams start off strong but the Brawn tribe work together and pull ahead. Brains have trouble unlocking the chests and quickly fall behind. At the barricade, they break their chests and scatter puzzle pieces everywhere. Jeff, of course, makes several jokes about their lack of brains. Too easy, Jeff.

Brawn and beauty are neck and neck at the puzzle, but the Beauty tribe wins! Brawn gets second. Brains are nowhere close. It looks like bossy J’Tia will be the first voted out.

Brains get back to their beach and the scrambling begins along with more strategic shots of snakes and lizards. David wants to get rid of Garrett but Kass says no way. J’Tia is dead weight. Kass decides to tell J’Tia that she is leaning toward voting her out. Garrett gets wind of David’s plan to vote him out and tries to flip the vote to David.

At tribal council, self-deprecating J’Tia knows she is in trouble and tries to save herself. J’Tia’s, David’s and Garrett’s names are all thrown in the vote-out pile and we start the vote.

J’Tia – 2; David – 4 Somehow J’Tia is saved and David is voted out. “Dumb” move number two for the Brains tribe.

The next morning Garrett and Spencer plan ahead and grab Kass to form an alliance. Kass, after a super awkward handshake, (grudgingly) agrees but she likes the idea of being the swing vote.

Back on the Brawn tribe new besties Woo and Cliff go fishing. And by fishing I mean they flip the boat. Woo states, “Our first mission: Fail.” I couldn’t have said it better, Woo.

This brings us to our second immunity challenge of the night. Each tribe must swim out to a cage, climb over, untie the gate door to free traps, bring them back to the beach where one person will use puzzle pieces to solve yet another puzzle. Winners get immunity and things to catch fish.

Once again, Brains gets off to a rough start but manage to pull ahead. Brawn is in second and Beauty is way (I mean, way) out of the picture. The Brains tribe puts J’Tia on the puzzle. Dumb move number three if you’re keeping track at home, friends. Sarah is on the puzzle for the Brawn tribe and is killing it! They finish first. LJ makes quick work on the puzzle for the Beauty tribe leaving J’Tia, and the rest of us, wondering why she is on the Brains tribe. Brains are heading back to tribal council.

We make a quick pit stop at the Brawn camp where Tony starts going through their recently won reward and finds a tiny piece of paper revealing the clue for the hidden immunity idol. He finds it pretty quickly.

We head back to the Brains camp to find the tribe in the midst of dumb move number four. They decide to figure out whom to vote for as a group. Tasha gets upset and says it is silly, really silly. Who can argue with her? Survivor is about strategy and blindsides not boring group discussions. Meanwhile, J’Tia spirals out of control and decides to dump the majority of the tribe’s rice in the fire. Kass with the quote of the night asks how they came up with the criteria for brains.

At tribal council, the tribe explains to Jeff the instability of J’Tia. But right when it seems like J’Tia is out, Garrett decides to spit a bunch of nonsense out of his mouth causing Jeff to snuff out his torch. So, the lady who can’t build shelter, or swim, or solve puzzles and rids the tribe of their main food source lives to see another day. Dumb move number five.

So, what did you guys think of the Survivor premiere? Let us know in comment section below.