For now, we've been spared. But certainly we're not immune.
Given the farce that is this college football offseason, would anyone be surprised if Mike London took the Buffalo Bills job before coaching a game at Virginia?
Or if Virginia Tech's Frank Beamer retired Monday, reconsidered Tuesday and locked Bryan Stinespring in a Porta-John on Wednesday?
Or if Bobby Wilder bailed on Old Dominion after one season and began poaching Monarchs' recruits for his new employer?
Eventful as the bowls were, from 'Bama's title to Colt's injury to Boise's perfection, nothing approaches the coaching shenanigans of the past month.
Slimy, sleazy and abusive. Maddening, enraging and depressing.
That pretty much covers it. And these are men to whom we entrust our children?
The most troubling trend was mistreatment of players.
As someone who once ducked a hurled clipboard at halftime, I understand that motivation techniques sometimes stray over the line. But Kansas' Mark Mangino, South Florida's Jim Leavitt and Texas Tech's Mike Leach stepped far enough over to deserve dismissal.
Leach's demise was most curious for several reasons. He'd guided the previously dormant Red Raiders to 10 consecutive bowls with a point-a-minute offense and found himself in a public spat with ESPN analyst Craig James.
James' name recognition and ESPN platform cornered Leach as he defended his treatment of James' son, Adam, a Texas Tech receiver. The particulars are in dispute, but it seems clear that Leach directed that James be secluded in a room while recovering from a concussion.
Dangerous and juvenile don't begin to describe, and a pox on the house of the trainer who didn't disobey Leach's edict.
Leach's exit not only left a keen offensive strategist unemployed but also opened a door for former Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville's return to Division I — the Red Raiders chose Tuberville instead of interim coach and defensive coordinator Ruffin McNeill, who led Tech to an Alamo Bowl victory over Michigan State.
Days after Tuberville landed in Lubbock, Southern California plucked Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin to replace Pete Carroll, who ahead of the NCAA posse bolted USC for the Seattle Seahawks — gee, didn't Dennis Erickson do the same when he left the University of Miami for the Seahawks in 1995?
Tuberville would have been an ideal candidate at Tennessee, a far superior job to Texas Tech. But UT is not superior to USC, and Kiffin did not hesitate to abandon the Volunteers after one season, which ended with a 37-14 loss to Virginia Tech in the Chick-fil-A Bowl.
Most disturbing about Kiffin's move to USC were reports that he and his staff were encouraging players they had recruited to Tennessee to reconsider and perhaps join the Trojans. If true we can only hope that Kiffin, whose home debut comes Sept. 11 against London and Virginia, fails miserably.
Contrast Kiffin's betrayal of Tennessee with David Cutcliffe's loyalty to Duke.
As a former Vols offensive coordinator, during the Peyton Manning era no less, Cutcliffe emerged immediately as a candidate to succeed Kiffin. But after just two seasons at Duke, where he's revived a toe-tagged program, Cutcliffe was not prepared to exit, obvious prestige and salary bumps notwithstanding.
Cutcliffe's decision will reverberate to ACC Coastal Division rivals such as Virginia and Virginia Tech. Under his leadership, the Blue Devils may not ascend to contenders, but they will not be pushovers.
Snubbed by Cutcliffe and Texas defensive coordinator Will Muschamp, Tennessee turned abruptly and rashly Friday to Louisiana Tech's Derek Dooley, who less than two months ago attracted minimal interest from his own alma mater, Virginia.
Rest assured, that's not sitting well among some on Rocky Top, and with understandable reason.
A former walk-on receiver at Virginia, Dooley has impeccable pedigree. He worked for Nick Saban at LSU and with the Miami Dolphins. His father, Vince, coached Georgia to a national title. His uncle, Bill, served as head coach at North Carolina, Virginia Tech and Wake Forest.
Moreover, in 2008 Dooley guided Louisiana Tech to its first bowl in 31 years. But the Bulldogs were only 17-20 in his three years, 4-8 this season.
Not exactly an inspiring record for someone who must compete in the Southeastern Conference's East Division against Florida and should-I-stay-or-should-I-go coach Urban Meyer. Then again, the last coach Tennessee hired had a 5-15 record in one-plus season with the Oakland Raiders.
Will Dooley morph into a combination of Gen. Neyland, Johnny Majors and Phil Fulmer? Or the next Lane Kiffin?
After this offseason, nothing would surprise.
David Teel can be reached at 247-4636 or by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org. For more from Teel, read his blog at dailypress.com/teeltime.