EARLY YEARS: Foster mom cares for six children, focuses on underserved teens

ROANOKE, Va. (WDBJ) -Nearly 6,000 children and youth are in Virginia’s foster care system.

“You don’t have to have my last name for me to love you,” said Donna Coles, a foster mom.

That philosophy guides Coles’ approach to parenting. She currently cares for six foster children.

“I’ve got two babies that are a year old. Both of them, they’re about three months apart. And then I’ve got two, a 13-year-old, a 14-year-old, and, well, two 17-year-olds,” Coles said.

Focus on teenage girls

The house is full of girls, with the exception of one baby boy.

“I generally work with the teenage girls, only because they’re the most underserved,” Coles said.

The population has typically suffered major trauma, including sexual abuse. Coles works to create a safe haven for her girls, encouraging them to support one another.

“And so I try really hard to teach my girls that there’s no, they’re not your competition. They’re your sister, whether it’s a classmate or, you know, a coworker, whatever it is in life. If they do good, you do good,” Coles said.

Seven years of fostering

After losing one of her biological children, Coles’ surviving daughter encouraged her to foster. That was about seven years ago.

With training and support from Commonwealth Catholic Charities, Coles has fostered 15 children and adopted one. The road wasn’t always smooth, with each child requiring something different from her.

“But I found that with my own children too, you know, you can’t just, what works for one doesn’t work for everybody. So, because you’re a different parent, they have different issues. I mean, you just kind of have to expect that going in,” Coles said.

Fostering to adopt isn’t necessarily the goal. Coles said some kids are more comfortable in the system and don’t want to be adopted.

Even as her foster kids age out, Coles said they’re still part of her family.

“So, it’s, I try to stay in touch with them, even if it’s just, hey, I’m here. If you ever need me, you may not like me. But in 20 years, if you need me and you call my phone, I’m going to answer for you,” Coles said.

She encourages anyone who has a calling to foster to do it. For Coles, hearing words like these make it all worthwhile.

“You were the one person I remember from my childhood that made everything else possible for my life,” Coles said.

If you’d like to learn more about becoming a foster parent, reach out to Commonwealth Catholic Charities here.